I officially have one week left of work at Silver Bay. The only comforting thing about that fact is that my whole life this place has existed, nearly unchanged. It feels just as much like home to me as the house I grew up in. I am going to be a mess when I leave here.

If saying goodbye to the amazing friends I’ve made and developed wasn’t enough, leaving the bay means that the final countdown to Korea is on. Of course, I’m excited for a wild adventure, but I’m also terrified.

I’m scared for the decisions I’ll have to make, the unpleasant things I will inevitably see, the anxiety of living in a place where I by no means speak the language. I’m scared for the changes I will see in me, and even more scared for the changes my loved ones will see. I’m scared that some people who are so important to me now will see me to the core and decide I’m not worth the effort. I’m scared to be alone and lonely. I’m sad that I can’t even guess the next time I’ll be able to see my friends and family back here. But I think most of all I am scared to succeed.

Success is something we all strive for, but when you achieve it, that can mean something significant. What if I love working in Korea as an ESL teacher? What if I never come home? Does that mean I might never settle to one place and build a founded life?

Sure. Maybe. All of those things and more. When I’m anxious I focus on everything that could potentially happen. I need to feel prepared for what’s next–good, bad and ugly. But I’m also really excited. I’m going to develop incredible, lasting relationships. I’m going to be challenged in ways I’ve never been challenged before, and persevering will filter through me an amazing amount of pride and confidence. I’ve been in charge of my life for a number of years now, but I finally feel like I’m doing something for me, for no reason other than the fact that adventure makes me happy. It isn’t all going to be easy. The sun won’t shine every day and birds will not sing with me at my window sill. But I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that every powerful moment, difficult or thrilling, will be worth it.

When “adults” reminisce about college as the “best time” of their life, and kids leaving college ache for those four (or two, or 10) years back, I can’t help but laugh. I feel sorry for the adults who have not created a life for themselves that they enjoy living. College isn’t the best time of your life. Life begins when college ends. At the end of that alcohol-infused road is everything you’ve ever wanted. After school, it’s all in your hands. You have the power. Do something with it. Build the life you’ve always wanted, unapologetically and without hesitation.

I wrote in an earlier post that the most exciting (and arguably most important) part of life is being absolutely terrified and moving forward anyway. I am absolutely terrified, but I am finally free of others’ expectations and I am creating my own reality.

All the little annoyances of today will be long gone next month. And the most beautiful people in my life are going to follow me through. This is the ultimate kind of binge and purge: binging on new adventure, thrills, challenges and life choices; purging the people, ideas and habits that don’t serve me.

I’m scared to lose people I love, but that happens more often than I realize. The people that matter will be with me tomorrow, next week, next year and lifelong. Thank you all for following my journey and for taking it with me. I couldn’t have done this without the endless support of the people I love. Yes, I’m scared, but I’m ready for it all to begin. It’s time again to take a leap of faith.