10 Things That Will Kill You In Korea Faster Than MERS

Posted on by

Last weekend thousands of people turned up to Olympic Stadium in Seoul to attend a music festival that almost didn’t happen. Ultra Music Festival (UMF) is one of the biggest touring EDM festivals in the world. They are hosted in Europe, Asia, Africa, South America and the OG event, Miami, FL. A truly global festival that was poised to make probably billions of Won was on the line because of MERS. The pandemic that is sweeping South Korea and killing people in droves.

…Oh wait, that’s not a thing. A handful of people have died, a few more have contracted the virus and a couple thousand have been placed in quarantine. Which has been broken more than once. Long live Korean stubbornness.

Anyway, Ultra did go off with only slight hiccups, including big name cancellations like Alesso and Nicky Romero. Nervo, the blonde Aussie beauties, took over one of the slots and frankly I think we were all happier as a result, so fuck ’em, you know? Other than that the only odd thing festival-goers had to endure was the sanitization and overall MERS panic when entering the stadium.

Your first steps through the gate were met by masked workers supplying a not-so-optional squirt of hand sanitizer. Then you walked through some kind of blower to sanitize the rest of you. Another zig-zag station of sanitizer and boxes of available masks ended with a thermal scan of your body to check your temperature. On a hot, humid summer day at a music festival. Effective. The final line of defense came in a quick sanitizer squirt before ticket check and a forehead temperature reading as you walk through the final gates.

Cool. At this point we are all sanitized and ready to get sweaty and rub up on each other. Until the grody squatter portapotties get covered in excrement and the tables adjacent run out of sanitizer. But that’s neither here nor there, right? Right.

The point of writing this is, of course, #MERS. The virus and its menial number of cases has caused temporary school closings, event cancellations and overall widespread panic in Korea. They’ve even quarantined camels in zoos (yes, really) to prevent the spread of the disease. Honestly, if hygiene was a thing here like it is in America and much of the Western world then this wouldn’t be an issue, but washing your hands and covering your mouth aren’t really practiced. People spit, cough, share spoons and foods, touch each other and spend more time looking in the mirror post-poo than washing their hands.

Even so, here in Korea there are many things, both in my opinion and statistically proven, more likely to kill you than the dreaded MERS. Here are 10:

1. Cars

If I’ve learned anything in Korea it’s that pedestrians are not safe. You do not have the right of way. No, not even on the sidewalk. Not in the crosswalks. Not obeying traffic laws and walking only at times you’re supposed to. Any person who’s been here longer than a few days will have many stories about near misses by speeding cars down tiny alleyways, crazy bus drivers, and many will even have stories about ending up in the hospital after an accident. Traffic accidents are the eighth leading cause of death in Korea. I personally know of one foreigner who was killed, one of my students who was hit and one friend of mine who ended up in the ICU with a shattered pelvis, all from car accidents this year. Drivers in Korea seriously don’t give a fuck that they are in a motorized killing machine and you are flesh and bone.

giphy

When in doubt, jump.

 

Last week I tried to explain to my adult class of colleagues in my elementary school that in America people stop for pedestrians in crosswalks. Their response, with a puzzled look, was “How do you get them to do that?” This won’t surprise any waygooks (Korean for foreigner) but it did kind of make me laugh. Unlike in Korea the police in America do more than just herd drunk old men away from the general public. They enforce traffic laws…among other things. In fairness, I can’t speak too highly about abuse of power, but that is a separate issue. Walking and driving in Korea are dangerous, mmmkay??

2. Soju

Who doesn’t love soju, amirite??? I mean, soju is CHEAP, which makes it many people’s drink of choice here in Korea. Did you know that soju, specifically Jinro Soju, is the most consumed alcohol ON THE PLANET? In 2013, Jinro Soju sold TRIPLE the amount of cases as runner-up Smirnoff, according to Drinks International. Apparently soju has topped the list effortlessly for more than a decade. Cheers to you, you cheap, cheap hangover-waiting-to-happen.

soju

We know what you’re sippin’ on, don’t even play.

Stomach and liver cancers are the number five and number seven causes of death in Korea, respectively. Anyone whose been out anywhere in Korea has seen one or all of the following: Belligerent old men either yelling outside of a GS25 or stumbling down the sidewalk; a person who has passed out and vomited on themselves on the street or sidewalk before midnight; girls unable to stand at or walk out of a club; and breakfast (or lunch) routinely meeting people still out and drinking from the night before. If you didn’t think Koreans were big drinkers, I’ve got news for you, you’re dead wrong. Cheers, Korea. Who’s got the soju??

3. Pollution

pollution

Don’t worry, be happy.

Don’t be fooled into thinking the mask-donning Koreans are doing so simply because of MERS. They wear them often. And anyone who has ever tried to run outside in a big city knows that masks should be more than recommended. Let’s just say the air in Korea ain’t so great. It’s no Beijing, but you’ll be hard pressed to see a crystal clear blue day without the hover of smog, even in smaller cities than Seoul. Some say it’s a problem that’s improving, but others warn of heavy metal mining in China making things even worse for Koreans. Do the research yourself if you like, but breathing is just one of those things as humans we should be able to do without much trouble. The more you know.

4. Stroke

Stroke is simply the number one cause of death in Korea, accounting for over 65 deaths out of 100,000. I’m no expert, but I don’t think MERS has anything to do with this one. I don’t know how one could go about preventing it…I suppose it would depend on the kind of stroke, but I doubt closing schools and cancelling events would be helpful.

stroke

Here’s to you, #1.

5. Smoking

Lung cancers are the third most common cause of death in Korea. Anyone who’s lived in or visited this country knows that everyone smokes. Except women. They only smoke it back alleys because it’s frowned upon for those delicate flowers to pollute their lungs. And though the government has made strides by recently (at least in Gwangju) banning and enforcing smoking indoors, you can still see people smoking everywhere. All the time. And cigarettes are cheap. Lung cancers account for over 27 deaths per 100,000.

smoking

6. Overall Neglect

demo

Hopefully by now we’ve all heard of Sewol, a true Korean tragedy that could have been prevented. Then there are the 16 people that died at a K-Pop concert last October when a ventilation grate they were standing on collapsed. And, most recently (to my knowledge), two people fell through a sidewalk sinkhole in February.

A truly Korean phenomenon, in my opinion, is the speed with which establishments are vacated, torn down, built up and renovated. It’s not uncommon to go to a restaurant or cafe a week after your last visit to see an empty lot. That empty lot will be built up again in two weeks time, leaving everyone rolling their eyes and saying “Oh, Korea” to one another. The neglect and mismanagement of Sewol is not something to joke about, but it’s been clear in the months following the tragedy that not much has changed when it comes to regulations and routine maintenance, and more people in other places have paid with their lives. Maybe it’s time to slow down a bit, eh guys??

7. Overwork/Exhaustion

robo

Life is just so hard.

This one could be attacked from all kinds of angles. The Korean workday can easily be 14 hours long. The idea and expectation of showing face for employers and higher ups is just a normal thing here. If you think you’re getting out at 5pm, you’re wrong. It’s time for dinner, and then drinks, and then more drinks, and then sunrise when all of you just head back into the office again. You see, turning down drinks or finishing eating before someone above you is considered heinously rude. The social etiquette in Korea makes for a stressful work life.

Another way to dissect overwork is by taking a look at education in Korea. Suicide is the number six killer in Korea. Suicide. Many of these are youth suicides as a result of the extreme pressure students feel to succeed in academics and their future career. I am an elementary school teacher and even my kids can be in school until 9pm. They usually go to normal public elementary school, then to their music or Taekwondo lesson, then home for dinner, and lastly to their Hagwon (private institution) for English or some other subject before coming home and doing their homework. Then they sleep. Until the morning and they start all over again. I honestly do not know how they do it. They’re just KIDS. The pressure gets worse as they get older and some of them, not surprisingly, can’t handle it. Suicide shouldn’t be in the top 10 killers anywhere. It’s just tragic.

8. Knife-Wielding Burglars

So, Korea has some odd laws. There’s no such thing as self defense here and some of the more fucked up cases I’ve heard about are some derivative of person A being assaulted or robbed by person B and when person A defended their person or property and injured person B, person A was subject to lawsuit. There was even a video a little while back showing a man wielding a knife and attacking a woman in a store. The only other person present was another woman who bravely stood up for the first woman who was being attacked. Passersby saw what was going on and one even came inside…and did nothing. Be aware of yourself and your surroundings. Korean laws will get ya.

knife

It’s not self defense, it’s ballet.

9. Hiking a Popular Route

Hiking in Korea is amazing. There are lots of places to go and mountains to climb. There are beautiful sights to see all over the peninsula, and then some. However, many popular routes and mountains become very crowded with touring foreigners. Koreans love to hike. And they love to spend money on multi-colored hiking gear they’ll look cool in when they meet their friends at the mountain. Koreans of all ages. And though the hiking is generally plentiful in this country, these crowded routes can get REALLY crowded. In America I’ve never had to wait minutes to continue down a path just so a herd of other people could pass me by. On a cliff’s edge you can smell your fate. And that high up, death by Ajumma shove is a lot more plausible than death by MERS.

cliff

10. Overfeeding by Ajumma

fat

Kill me with delicious food. I’ll shuffle for ya.

Ajummas are older women in Korea. It actually just means married, but I’ve rarely heard the word tossed around when speaking of younger married women. Anywho, Koreans, bless their hearts, love to feed you. They’re like the Italians of Asia. And here, as in many other cultures, it’s rude to refuse food. When you encounter a generous old woman be prepared to get stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey. Now, while I would personally choose this as my way to go, I still think it’s a lot more plausible than my contracting MERS and dying hacking a lung in a crowded hospital. I choose you, Ajumma. Feed me.

 

(All death stats came from worldlifeexpectancy.com. I am in no way claiming each word in this is factually accurate. Some people are going to take this post way too seriously, and they’re probably the same people worried about MERS. Sorry I’m not sorry if I’ve offended you.)

Goodbye Is A Dirty Word

Posted on by

Throughout our lives we will say goodbye many times. Most of us say “goodbye” in some form every day. Somehow, when taken out of context, goodbye seems so permanent. I’ve had my fair share of all too emotional goodbyes, some permanent, some not. The one goodbye I wish I could have said came too late for it to mean anything to its recipient and that moment, that goodbye, will haunt me in some way for the rest of my life.

I’ve told this story countless times, but it’s worth mentioning again here. The last night I spoke to my father—the last time I saw him alive—I almost left the house without saying goodbye. I yelled up to his office on the second floor to say “see you on Friday” as my friends and I tried to quickly exit and be on our way to Halloween celebrations. He called down for me to wait and he came downstairs to where we were, in the kitchen, almost through the door. He gave me a big hug and what could have been seen as an embarrassing parent kiss and said: “You know we don’t leave without a hug and a kiss and saying I love you. You never know when the last time will be.”

Well, people, that was the last time. Lesson learned. If someone means something to you, if you love them, before you leave you better tell them. You never know when the last time will be.

Rolling my eyes I smiled and said “I love you” and left with my friends. Two days later I would be called out of class to receive the most devastating news of my life. I would have to say my final goodbye to a blue-turning corpse in a cold, uncomfortable hospital room as my world quickly fell to pieces.

These days I say “I love you” a lot. Maybe too much for some people. When I hang up the phone, when I leave a night out or get on a bus to go home I remember to say “goodbye,” “see you tomorrow,” and usually “I love you.” Before it’s too late, I want to say my final goodbyes to the people and place I have called home for the last eight months. There are four more months left on my contract in Korea and after that, I’m gone from here for the foreseeable future. Many of my friends are leaving before that. Some have even seemingly decided to make it easier on themselves by not saying goodbye, not leaving, and just silently slipping away. That one really stings, but to each their own.

After living, studying abroad and making a family in Australia, goodbyes came too soon. I cried…a lot. Not for the people I was leaving, because, ultimately, I can see them again. I cried for the circumstance. I cried because never again in my life will I be in that place, with those people, in the same mindset, ever again. It’s almost like mourning for a time you can never get back. It’s almost as hard as mourning for a person you’ll never get back.

In a few short weeks someone I’ve become extremely close to over the last few months will leave. A couple weeks after that, another will go. And this will continue until I make my final exit to sweatier pastures in August. Before you all leave and we become swept up into another world and another life adventure, I want to tell you all how much I love you. Without you, this year would not have been what it was and my life would not become what it is about to. I’ve fallen in love over and over again with the kindness, sincerity, humor, stability and support of your beautiful souls and I cannot say thank you enough.

The first one to leave will be the hardest to let go. Because of who this person is, how much I love them and because they’re first. I’ve always ALWAYS said that leaving is the easy part. The people left behind suffer far more than the person moving on. They leave for new adventures, excitement, chaos and uncertainty. They get wrapped up into a new world and are constantly on the go. It is the people left behind who truly mourn for their presence. In a way it’s like living with a ghost. One that you still talk to and love unconditionally, but that is obviously, noticeably not physically around you anymore.

I have a habit of running away from this feeling. I don’t want to feel sad or like I’ve lost a piece of me, or like my perfect little circle of trust is crumbling around me. But this time I have no choice. I am contractually obligated to stick this shit out, grin and bear it. Choice or no choice there is only one remedy for these feelings and this situation. It is to stay ever-present in the moment. Don’t look too far ahead or behind each day, but remember to appreciate all that you have RIGHT NOW, here, at this moment, because soon it won’t be the same. And once that change is made, you will never get back what you have now.

Life and people are transient, and that’s the beauty in it all. People change, circumstance changes. You always have the opportunity to be with those people again, in another way, but while we’re here, right now, I say we celebrate and raise (several) glasses to the love we have found in each other.

I love you all so very much and I will carry you and your influence with me wherever I go. Thank you for being the best family I could have dreamed of.

Love Always,
Kate

Commencement Considerations

Posted on by

For those of you unaware of the school calendar in Korea, each school year begins in early March, and ends just before Seollal (Lunar New Year) in February. (They also have about four weeks’ vacation in January…which makes no sense to me, but that’s not the point). This means that my sixth graders are graduating elementary school and heading off to middle school. In America, this was exciting and scary, but not particularly momentous. In Korea, it’s more scary than exciting and it’s important enough to require a graduation ceremony.

Lots of kids don’t really look forward to middle school because this is where their childhood goes to die, essentially. Schooling in Korea is crazy intense and I never spend one day envying their lives. Many of them already attend Hagwons, or private academies, after school hours in addition to their public schooling. Often these kids will be in their school after school for hours, sometimes until 10-11pm. This all really ramps up in middle school, peaking heavily in high school because their college entrance tests are basically the most important job they have as kids. Unfortunately, Korea has one of the highest suicide rates for a developed nation due to this intensive schooling. Up until a few years ago, school was held Monday through Saturday, even.

Sometimes I get sad for the childhood they seem to be missing out on. But honestly, all of their friends are basically on the same level and if they didn’t attend these Hagwons, it’s likely they wouldn’t really have anyone to hang out with outside of them anyway. It’s all relative, more or less, and I do my best not to presume that my childhood was any better or worse than theirs seems to be. It is hard, sometimes, when I see kids falling asleep in class, or when they tell me that, rather than taking a break during holidays or vacation, they spent their time at the Academy. But such is the way of life in Korea and many don’t really know that it’s any different than kids from other countries.

For me, graduation is bittersweet. I mean, I barely know (most) of these kids, but I can’t help but feel proud that they’re doing well, growing up and moving on. However the ones I’ve connected with have left a permanent mark in my soul and I can’t help but miss them. There’s really one girl that has made an impact on me these last five months. She’s taught me a lot about curiosity, social customs and perseverance in Korea.

박수빈 is an average-height, slender sixth grade girl. She has straight, mid-length black hair and is always smiling. She also has the English proficiency of someone much, much younger. In fact, I can communicate better with some of my third grade students than I can with her. That hasn’t stopped her from trying, however. The very first day I arrived in Gwangju, I met her. She was SO EXCITED to meet the new English teacher. I thought it was a phase, feeling out the new teacher, but soon she was visiting me for up to an hour after school, usually once a week. As I said, she has very little English and I have even less Korean at my disposal. Together we would mime, draw, guess, translate and teach one another things we thought were useful to the conversation (me to her) or in life (her to me). That girl just wanted to spend time with me, and the more she came by, the more I wanted to spend time with her, too.

A couple months ago her father passed away. Many of you know that when I was 16, my dad died suddenly. It blew my world to pieces and when I heard the news, my heart broke for her. But there she was, a couple days later, in my class. It took her a couple weeks to get back to the never-ending smiles, but her spirit never broke. What a strong fucking kid, man. I wanted more than anything to tell her my story and let her know I was there for her, but I couldn’t, and I haven’t. Maybe it’s a good thing. I was still there for her after school and during class, and our relationship didn’t change. Sometimes, when everyone else is giving you pity, all you want is to feel normal. Maybe this relationship and language barrier were meant to be. At this point, all I know is that she is someone I will never forget. As a new teacher, both in life and in Korea, she was excited to meet me and genuinely liked me…and I feel like that’s half the battle.

I often look back on my schooling and think about the teachers who had an influence on me in more than an academic way. And honestly, I think my father’s death had a lot to do with that. I was supported by teachers I was close to, and became closer with those whose advice I sought in the wake of it all. I’m so grateful that I have maintained a genuine relationship, of one kind of another, with several of these teachers (GV, Pernice, I’m lookin’ at you). This is a whole different feeling, though. Now I’m the teacher and the student is the person impacting me. I wonder if I’ve made an impact like that on any of my teachers growing up. Frankly, looking back, I’m hoping whatever impression I may have left was positive and not negative…I was a rough teenager.

Tomorrow is the commencement for my visiting school. 박수빈 graduated last Friday at my main school. I’m profoundly grateful for her spirit and that of many of the students leaving school. I really didn’t think it would move me in such a way, but here I am being introspective and sentimental. I miss these kids already. If I have nothing else to show for my first year of teaching when I leave Korea, I will treasure the impact these students have had on me. I miss them already.

Leap of Faith: The Final Countdown

Posted on by

I officially have one week left of work at Silver Bay. The only comforting thing about that fact is that my whole life this place has existed, nearly unchanged. It feels just as much like home to me as the house I grew up in. I am going to be a mess when I leave here.

20140724-074248-27768914.jpg

20140724-074254-27774747.jpg

20140724-074256-27776503.jpg

20140724-074248-27768516.jpg

20140724-074251-27771965.jpg

20140724-074259-27779172.jpg

20140724-074253-27773445.jpg

If saying goodbye to the amazing friends I’ve made and developed wasn’t enough, leaving the bay means that the final countdown to Korea is on. Of course, I’m excited for a wild adventure, but I’m also terrified.

I’m scared for the decisions I’ll have to make, the unpleasant things I will inevitably see, the anxiety of living in a place where I by no means speak the language. I’m scared for the changes I will see in me, and even more scared for the changes my loved ones will see. I’m scared that some people who are so important to me now will see me to the core and decide I’m not worth the effort. I’m scared to be alone and lonely. I’m sad that I can’t even guess the next time I’ll be able to see my friends and family back here. But I think most of all I am scared to succeed.

Success is something we all strive for, but when you achieve it, that can mean something significant. What if I love working in Korea as an ESL teacher? What if I never come home? Does that mean I might never settle to one place and build a founded life?

Sure. Maybe. All of those things and more. When I’m anxious I focus on everything that could potentially happen. I need to feel prepared for what’s next–good, bad and ugly. But I’m also really excited. I’m going to develop incredible, lasting relationships. I’m going to be challenged in ways I’ve never been challenged before, and persevering will filter through me an amazing amount of pride and confidence. I’ve been in charge of my life for a number of years now, but I finally feel like I’m doing something for me, for no reason other than the fact that adventure makes me happy. It isn’t all going to be easy. The sun won’t shine every day and birds will not sing with me at my window sill. But I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that every powerful moment, difficult or thrilling, will be worth it.

When “adults” reminisce about college as the “best time” of their life, and kids leaving college ache for those four (or two, or 10) years back, I can’t help but laugh. I feel sorry for the adults who have not created a life for themselves that they enjoy living. College isn’t the best time of your life. Life begins when college ends. At the end of that alcohol-infused road is everything you’ve ever wanted. After school, it’s all in your hands. You have the power. Do something with it. Build the life you’ve always wanted, unapologetically and without hesitation.

I wrote in an earlier post that the most exciting (and arguably most important) part of life is being absolutely terrified and moving forward anyway. I am absolutely terrified, but I am finally free of others’ expectations and I am creating my own reality.

All the little annoyances of today will be long gone next month. And the most beautiful people in my life are going to follow me through. This is the ultimate kind of binge and purge: binging on new adventure, thrills, challenges and life choices; purging the people, ideas and habits that don’t serve me.

I’m scared to lose people I love, but that happens more often than I realize. The people that matter will be with me tomorrow, next week, next year and lifelong. Thank you all for following my journey and for taking it with me. I couldn’t have done this without the endless support of the people I love. Yes, I’m scared, but I’m ready for it all to begin. It’s time again to take a leap of faith.

20140724-074848-28128024.jpg

Withdrawal & Detox

Posted on by

I’ve been home from Ireland for a week and every hour of every day I wonder why I came home. There really is magic in the hills, as one local of Dundalk told me. Ireland has swept me off my feet with its charm and I’m head over heels in love. I learned a lot about Irish men (mostly that everything they say is complete and total bullshit) and Irish history and folklore–though folklore is a delicate term as many of the people I met in small towns truly believe in fairies (which is why they build fairy forts) and other stories they’re told from childhood.

For a minute I even considered canceling or postponing my trip to Korea to explore what Ireland has to offer me. Thankfully I’ve regained control and am full steam ahead to Korea. That’s not to say I won’t end up in Europe next…or forever. I love that the world is my oyster and I’m so happy to have cracked that nut so early on in life. I can go anywhere, do anything, be anyone I want and no one has any say about it unless I give their say power.

So far I’ve had an amazing time and I just don’t see the adventures slowing down. I have a month in NJ now, which includes my 25th birthday on the same day of my collegiate rugby team’s home tournament, as well as our alumni weekend before I head up to Lake George for the summer. Korea in August. 2014 was over in my head before it began and it’s absolutely speeding by. I’m so grateful for all the support I’ve received thus far and I’ll be sure to update more when there’s something good to talk about.